lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Friday, August 17, 2007
-4:53 PM
at 10.28pm it marks e last time i see my grandpa. for e past 6 days since sat when my grandpa was critically ill, i already went down to look after him. didnt expect tt to be so fast. feel so sad. somehow everyday i tink i slp ard 2hrs only. then wake up to help look after my grandpa. tis was something i will never regret in my life. though the time spent with my grandpa was short no matter wat. n i noe i will never be able to be like my uncle a 24/7 filial son. but then i really appreciate it. coz other than in the past where i went to look after my grandpa in hospital every now n then in e past i was given another chance to look after him now. i really treasured every moment spent with him. it was really something beyond wat i could imagine
he was critically ill on sat nite when i went dinner with e group. somehow after dinner we chat for a while be4 i rush to my grandpa hse to visit him. then i stay at their place to look after him frm sat nite onwards till today tt is 17th august 2007. i really miss him. somehow i shd be glad too coz he has return back to the lord n he has a christian burial n even non believers see the burial. hopefully tis will be a testimony to them.
somehow be4 17th for e past few days since 13th august 2007, the wake was there. 13th august 2007 afternoon at 1519h it was e time tt my grandpa past away. was a bz day for tt day n onwards. lack slp everyday becoz my cousins n aunties n uncles n me take turns to guard through e nite. a few of us is daily guard through de. tt includes me n a few other cousins. we stay n chat n make sure no cats come near e tents. somehow through the day we will play christian songs for my grandpa. though simple but the number of ppl who come is a lot. the number of flowers oso quite a lot. frm my cousin church frenz, aunties n uncles' work colleague, frenz n last but not least truth baptist church. i feel so loved by their concern. coz they even took sometime out of their bz schedule to come to my grandpa's funeral. appreciate a lot. n oso for royston n willie to come down. really a big thank you. for those who noe but cant come down. its ok thx for e concern.
practically everyday is almost the same. only on wed n thurs nite. a memorial service was held each nite. all e cousins work together n had a speech made in remembrance of my grandpa. n e pastor frm both my uncle's church n my grandpa's church came down to have the memorial service for my grandpa. even fri morning be4 we go down to the burial ground, we had a morning memorial service for him. a short 30mins service.
it takes quite long be4 we reach tt place by bus. be4 tt. it was really saddening. i was one of the person who carry e coffin. frm the arrival to e departure to even e burial point be4 it was lowered. i jus wanted to do my part. my last thing i can do for my grandpa.
after e coffin been push into e car, we accompany grandpa for a short walk be4 we board e bus n head down to cck. it was one of the most saddening moment. at e point of time it was raining. it do seem e sky is crying oso. but i can see tears rolling down everyone's eyes. tt oso includes my eyes. though i keep telling myself i must be strong i oso couldnt take it. my tears rolled instantly. really it is a sad moment for many.
it was raining. so movement was a bit hard. we reach cck cementry at ard 11.25 then waited till ard 12 then we were able to carry e coffin to e burial site. one of the thing i will be able to always remember my grandpa is e thorns tt prick my left hand while i was taking up e flowers. though a small prick but then it cuts deep into my heart. coz tt is a wound i get while doing something for gonggong. which i will never mind. coz e wound will never be able to compare to the deep wound my grandpa departure has implanted into my heart.
a christian burial is something more simple than most of the other kind of burial. coz ours most of it is jus a memorial service to remind everyone of a bro or sis of christ. they do not have wat ritual to conduct or a lot of rules to follow. in exact i still do not noe much. so tts all i can say bout e diff for now.
i only noe i wont want to be cremated when i die. i wan a burial. a christian burial. regardless e cost i wan a burial then cremation. coz i feel cremation is so cruel. its like its totally cutting e hopes of seeing e remains.
i still cant get over but its over. it will be ages be4 i see u again grandpa. for now i wan to love my grandma more since i wont have the chance to love my grandpa le except for his grave. so i will constantly remind myself tt i will love her more. remember tis number rick n all family members. (7819) all got tis code engraved into their hearts.
after 15 years or when e news say tt we need dig out e grave of my grandpa. i will confirm take up tis task. as a promise to my mum. but tt is provided all my grandpa's children have gone back to the Lord then i will take tis up. if not i will leave it to them.
;butarick
Monday, August 13, 2007
-6:35 PM
tt marks a new beginning for my grandpa who walks on with christ on his eternal life. singing praises and worshipping the lord forever while waiting for all to join in future. currently. everyone is in a sad mood though we noe he will be back with e lord. 13th august 1519h was e exact time he left us to join Jesus in his eternal kingdom. i was e one to confirm e time while my uncle was e one who check my grandpa vital signs. he left peacefully without pain. not even a slight look of pain was hung on his face. tts wat we were glad bout.
wat i learn is tt it really hurts to lose someone. regardless who is e someone. as long is someone close to u. when u lose him or her it really hurts. i held back my tears but when my uncle prayed for my grandpa my tears still rolled down. i couldnt bear tis unbearable feeling tt lingers in me currently.
i may seem perfectly fine now. but deep inside i still feel sad n lost. coz i didnt spend much time with my grandpa since young. i was called some nickname tt represent me as a child who only noe how to speak english but not chinese.
however i never once blame him or wat. it was fun seeing him play poker cards with my other uncle for fun during new year. see him giving us ang pow during new year. e best part was see him being baptise. it was really a very touching scene. imagine he was so critically ill but he still can agree to e baptism which really make many ppl renew their faith. praise e lord. for my grandpa is back safely with him now. take kaire grandpa. we love u most n forever. we will meet again when God returns to claim us n for us to claim our rightful place in heaven to worship n adore the Father who loves us so much.
;butarick
